I am very sorry. I just lost my aunt today, too. Don't crawl in a hole--this isn't it, there is more. She can now get to the you that you are now. She will now be able to see the wonderful person you have become, and she will see it without blinders on, without prejudice, without foregone conclusion. Believe.
P. S. Remember, too, that she undoubtedly had her own issues, as we all do, and may have been unable to either handle yours with hers or unable to separate the two.