I have zero trouble making friends. I have oodles of trouble keeping friends.

I'm not overly cruel, critical, abusive, or weird, I just isolate and start to neglect the relationship, turn down invitiations, etc.

I have tons of excuses for not going to weddings, dinner parties, lunch dates, whatever... and I rarely, if ever, get sad that I missed the event.

I just ignored what was probably an awesome all day engagement party for a friend and I'm getting ready to ignore a lunch date... and I want to not do this anymore.

I'm almost 30 and it's totally my fault that I don't have any close relationships. I have a gazillion acquaintances and no one to call if my car breaks down. I have no one to get out of bed at 4 am if my house catches on fire. I have no one to inherit my cats if I die. That sucks.

I like being alone. I love it and I cherish my me time but I have to build some relationships that go beyond the superficial meet and greets.

Any tips? Pointers? I have equal problems meeting guys to date. I push things into the friend category immediately.

For what it's worth, I was raised in a severely abusive home with parents who are still fairly unstable and abusive though I live several hundred miles away now. I grew up without the opportunity to form any close relationships so I never really learned how to let people in...

Thanks for your suggestions, be well.