Well messed up stuff happens in college I guess that's universal, but I thought some how I was immune to it before I met this guy. We became fast and very close friends---and could tell each other any thing-
-he has a girl friend that goes to another school; last year they were very close--I has no intention on moving in on that relationship at all---
in fact I was really attracted to his roommate at the time-
but then one night he started moving in--then he kissed me--it came so unexpectedly--one thing led to another. . .that is not the best way to describe it--but that's the extent of it--oh and at some point after that saying "I would never want to date you" --that was just really mean
we decided to kind of forget it ever happened and just go back to being friends--but then it happened two more times---I left school for a term thinking it was all over and I would see little of him except for in our group of friends---
but then this year rolls around and there he is--still obviously attracted to me--he made me uncomfortable--It was hard for me to look him in the eye--telling myself that I have more respect for myself than that-
but then he comes around and wants to talk and tells me that he and his girlfriend have decieded to see other people-(like where does that leave me) -any way then he starts to make his move and I try to back out politely--several times infact---diffuse the sittuation--but oh God what did I do---I didn't want to--but he didn't force me---at all---
I feel horrible about it and not even really sure how to bring it up with my therapist---since he is a guy--actually it is not even the fact that he is a guy--I think I would have a problem even with a female therapist---heck I'm having problems just writting this post
I'm in some serious denile---and I guess I'm really embarrassed too
wish some one would slap me across the face--

oh and sorry for all the tense shifts in here

<font color=purple> Whatever you can do, or believe you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.
Goethe </font color=purple>