I agree with MP. You do not sound heartless. You need to take care of you and if that means having no contact with someone who is hurtful you are doing the right thing.

My mother was verbally abuse to me for many years. Until my 20s I wasn't stong enough to stand up to her and say "No!" When I was young she threatened to leave me if I didn't behave. I was compared to other children I went to school with. When I went to college she still treated me as if I was in elementary school. I was programmed to do whatever was necessary to please her. One day I woke up and am so happy I did.

I have very limited contact with her now. Even after I cut off our relationship it still took a few years for her to get it. I'd get very disturbing emails from her and for a while had to block them.

It's not easy for someone to do what you and I have.