Hi everyone,

I've been in therapy for about 9 months now, and I'm still having trouble opening up to my T. I find myself only wanting to talk about the good stuff that happened in my week and only about those aspects of my week that make me look best. I can't get into my weaknesses or those things that I'm ashamed of. I even sometimes tell little lies to make myself look better.

I think this is really harming my therapy. It creates distance from my T and keeps me from working through the things that are really bothering me.

For example, I have a co-worker who is very competitive with me. She's younger and, no question, good at her job and I like to think that I wish her no ill will. But she's always trying to best me in everything that I do. It makes me very self-conscious at work and constantly on edge. I haven't discussed this with my T at all because I'm afraid that she will think that I'm being defensive and I'm ashamed that I let this situation get to me. I feel like I should be strong enough to deal with it and if I'm not than I'm not good at my job.

Almost every week I go into therapy unable to talk about the thing that is most stressing me out because it is the thing that I'm most ashamed of. I feel weak for not being able to handle my day -to-day stressors and don't want her to see me that way.

Does anyone else struggle with this?