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Oct 15, 2008, 03:25 AM
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Member Since: Oct 2008
Posts: 2
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 sooooooo much for taking out the time to reply. You have no idea what that means to me!
In reply to some of the responses:
I suppose I never considered asking her why because I think I already kno the answer. I believe it is linked to how she is perceived by those in her family. Mom was #6 in the line of10 kids. (7 boys, 3 girls, with mom being the oldest girl).
I remember mom telling me how when she was just entering her teens that her mom used to gather all her family together, sit her in a chair and have all her brother’s n sisters sitting opposite across, facing her. Each of them would have their turn to voice their opinion about what they thought was "wrong" with the way mom behaved (mom behaved (still) as any normal person. She was (is) no more abnormal than any of her siblings).
I think maybe it was her mom’s way of attempting to (I guess) establish a better understanding about mom. But I also understand that mom was not a problem child whatsoever. She was just as normal as anyone was. I think the problem was with her mom.
Anyway, not too long ago, I overheard mom telling her new love that she wished that she would get some kind of positive recognition or acceptance from her family pertaining to (anything really, but more accurately) her intentions of moving to him. She hasn’t told anyone in her family about it, though, because she thinks that they will only find fault in what she is struggling to decide. As it is, they all think that she is just a failure in life.
I think that maybe if she did tell them about it, that they might only confirm her suspicions by talking her out of it through the means of making her believe that this choice is just another disastrous mistake of hers waiting to happen.
Maybe then….Do you think that perhaps if one of my aunts or uncles would only support her choice, that their support alone would enable her the affirmation to move onward?
I truly find this so confusing cuz mom always taught me that love is unconditional. And that there should never be any ulterior motives for loving anyone, so long as it is healthy it is a good thing. Why, then, would her own brothers n sisters not want to support her in her time of need? It certainly is not because she has a shortage of sibling’s or anything.
And I always did wonder why her own mom instilled upon her that there was something wrong with her in the first place? The ONLY thing I can possibly see what may be categorized as "wrong" with my mom is the fact that she HAS listened to her family from the very start, thus eventually end up investing her life to a man with the very same neglectful tendencies. Confusing!!!
I love my mom very much and only want to see her happy for ONCE. She so deserves it. Now that she has finally found this new man who is willing to be to her what she has been to (almost) everyone in her entire life, she freezes in self-doubt. And she just may be throwing away her last hopeful chance of ever being happy.
Mom is aware of my post. I showed it to her last night. She broke down in tears . She hugged me and wept a little longer.
Later, she told me that my post was probably the most thoughtful gesture anyone has ever done for her. Hearing that only then made ME cry.
The days are growing shorter, as mom is sleeping longer.
Please,  ???
Again, thank you all for your time.
Sincerely ~ Chowder
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