Quote:
Originally Posted by AllyH88
What do you do if you feel your T is not 'getting' you?
It's happened a couple of times. Once, I was talking about how I was worried that a certain kind of therapy would not work for me and he just deadpanned "That's because you're so pessimistic". Another time, I think he was tired of hearing me complain about my family, he asked "What did they do to piss you off this time?", but in an annoyed sort of way.
Maybe it is just my own interpretation given my current emotional state, but I felt misunderstood, not validated, like he was reinforcing the negative way I feel about myself. Like I just exaggerate my problems, you know, make mountains out of molehills. He seems annoyed, really tired most of the time, so I try not to take it personally.
I don't think it's a lack of communication, because I'm actually quite good at articulating my feelings.
Any thoughts?
Thanks.
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Hi AllyH88
My honest thoughts are that I would be very annoyed. If it were me in your shoes and your T said that to me, I'd feel invalidated, disrespected, and treated like a child. My T said that it typically takes 2-3 therapists to find the right match, and maybe you do too. I saw another T before I found my current one. I had to leave that one in the dust as she didn't seem to have anything between the ears. I found my current T before I left the last one, and I've been with him now two years, and I have absolute respect for him. He would never dream of saying anything along the lines that your T did.
Depending on how deep you feel it goes, it may or may not be worth telling him how you feel. It sounds like you do not have a therapeutic connection. I think that this early on in the relationship, the way your T responded to you is a bad sign and unlikely to change in the future. Sometimes it is best to cut our losses early on, rather than continue in dysfunctional therapy, dredging along and hoping it will get better. That can actually cause worse harm than finding another T. If you leave that T, the worst case scenario is that you don't find a good T and have to repeat the search process and systematically search until you find the right fit.
I think you have an accurate assessment of your T, and your red flags seem to be valid. It's actually a good thing to know so that you can stop wasting your time and find a T that can actually help.