Good for you on having been able to stop in the past and also for not wanting to travel that painful path again. Does looking at scars from the past make you not want to do it or want to do it more? I know it's different for everyone. If it is a deterent, make sure that when the urge is strong, you focus on the scar and remember how upset you felt after having done it. You have positive things in your life--just being able to post here that you don't want to si is a big positive. It gets very hard to hold on, that's when you have to relax your hold a bit and lean on others--whether its family, friends, doctor, therapist, or pc. Please be safe.