Hi Dig,
Just wanted to share my experience in this area.
I was diagnosed BPD at the age of 25. Met the woman I would be married to( it will be 30 yrs. in March) soon after that.
We knew mine and my wifes problems(she suffers from depression) could be passed on, but that did not stop us.

Long story short, our two sons are now 24 and 26 and are showing no sign of BPD or depression.

If they do develop a problem later down the road, we will all deal with that then.
These diseases are treatable and new medicines are being developed every day.

We would not have done it any other way.

The joy and happiness we have all brought to each other was worth the risk.

Take care Dig and may you and your wife make the decision that works for you.

Dennis