Hi Helley,
I was diagnosed w/bipolar disorder in 2000&with PTSD&schizo-affective disorder just this year. I've never been able to get regular treatment because I had no insurance&no money. I can now because I'm on disability which includes health insurance via Medicare. I totally understand the devastatio when getting a new diagnosis even when I suspected that the diagnosis was the problem, or at least part of it. I'd suggest reading a book by Elizabeth Kubler Ross called On Death&Dying because it talks about the 7 stages of grief. Whenever you're diagnosed with a mental illness you need to go through these stages before you can get to acceptance&really help yourself get better. I understand the difficulty w/navigating the website-it becomes clearer the more you use it. PS Suicidal thoughts are something we all have to deal w/from time to time when we've been diagnosed w/mental illness. Your not the only one&I still have problems w/that on an almost daily basis.-Skymonk