You're not a loser, you have a ED that changes your mind like that. *hug*

But I agree with the others, you're purging which screws up your body enough, then you're putting chemicals into it. I've not studied into diet pills at lengths, but for the most part they're unsafe, become ineffective, and have very dangerous side effects.

You're heading down a dangerous path, you need to turn off it NOW. Seek help, make the call.