my god it wont get out of my head now. the past 13 years is flooding through me. espiecially aug 28. it wont stop showing me the pictures in my head. i cant stop reliving it now.

one thing did this to me, brought back the worse of the wrose. On todays front paper cover. the newspaper. theres a picture with the biitches pill popping crazy mother kneeling down at the momunent. it says she there for her daughter. god this is too much. she never died in the storm. she overdosed the day before. she made my nephews life hell, my brothers. ours.

the crazy woman has come here so many times banging on the door always when im here alone wanting the ashes. we dont have them. my nephew does. she threatens me and her husnband sits in the truck and intices her on. she said she'd be back again soon. she'd kill us all to get in if she had to. now this in the paper. shes going to come again real soon.

Tres's so called mother almost killed him when he was 2 by throwing a can of food at me. but it went at his head. I moved him and it wnt into the sheetrock stuck there.

i finally got my brother on the phone and he told me he was still outside he didnt leave. shes dead he said. he was crying. it was to late for him to leave. my nephew was gonna lose his dad too. all i thought was my newphew, his life has been helll now this. i dropped the phone and cried. i let go of the wheel i couldnt do anything. dave was yelling at me to pull over. i keept saying no, no. crying for Tres'.

its all running through, messed up, its all meshing i can figure when what happened. i hate tjhis happening. this is the worst memoryies i have from it all. the ashes arent here and shes coming. im ready i will kill her if she does. she said a gun. i will kill her. i wont tell where the ashes are. my brother says tell her to go to hell. hes not here. he left. hes moved far away. we have to live with it. 13 years. it wont end. i dont knwo what to do. its got to get out of my head. the paper is hidden. its out of my sight. but the picture is burnt in my mind. tonite will be nightamers about this. i need to get anger out now. i need to get it out. i want to beat something with my bat. she shouldnt be on there. im shakin . im going.