((((((((((((((((((Zelev))))))))))))))))))))))))

This story is so like mine it is extraordinary. I'm so sorry you have endured the abuse not only from your father, but the other person who was supposed to protect you ... your mum ..... The only difference in our situations is that it wasn't my dad who aused me, it was ny mothers lover ...

My mum treated me the same ... anything for anyone else, even people she hardly knew, but when it cameto me zilch ... she would also almost never aknowledge anything I bought her, like it was never good enough or expensive enough ,,, I decorate cakes, delicate flowers etc ... I made her a 50th birthday cake, took me a long time ... she hid it at her party and never showed anyone ..... just an example ....

She knew about the abuse .... but was and is in denial about most of it ... she apologised a couple of times but never changed her ways towards me ... I am her only daughter .....

Last year, after going through therapy at last (i am 43) I decided to cut all ties for my own self care .....

Although I miss having a mother figure, I dont miss her narcissistic ways or the constant rejections .... this was my choice ......I truly think they are ashamed and can't handle their own guilt ....

I sincerely hope you find some peace in your life my friend, I am moving on and in the right direction, I will never forgive my abuser but I am learning to cope ..... there is hope, please believe that, unfortunately we will never change or parents and coming to terms with that is so so hard ,... leads to all sorts of abandonment and rejection issues ..... but with good therapy and supportive friends and family we can survive and live a happy, peaceful life....

My love to you and if a positive comes out of this awful negative it is that we survivors are compassionate and understanding of others in the same situation ...... hugs, Jinnyann xoxoxoxoxo