I've been traveling for the last month on what should be the trip of a lifetime but I'm really struggling, I havn't taken coke in one month now thats the longest time in 4 years and I stopped the painkillers 2 days ago, well I used up all my supply so didnt really have a choice. I'm ok most of the time but then I just get in such black moods- feel like Im in a hole and can't get out. I tried to talk to my friends I'm with but how can they understand, I hate feeling like this its the cross roads now stick with it or take the easier option and use again to try stop feeling like this. I should be so happy but yet I feel like crap!