i don't know about guys but i'm an insecure girlfriend and i'm just like your bf - i get terribly anxious if my partner is on the computer or on the phone, but i never say anything. i don't go through my his e-mails / texts or anything... i feel that is disrespectful. and it is. you don't have to share everything with your partner, and you have the right to keep your messages private.

based from my experience... you can tell him a hundred times that he's your world, you would never leave him and you love him and you would give anything to be with him. words are not enough. i know i'm never assured after my partner says those things to me (well not exactly those but anyway). okay - maybe i am for a few days, or a few hours heh, and then the insecurity and anxiety comes rushing back again.

this sounds really cliche, but its true.. there's something that can be helpful for your boyfriend to overcome this insecurity and it's called psychotherapy. i know i need it myself and am looking forward to start it. and you might want to see a professional to talk about things if they get a bit too rough - i know they can get rough with people like me.

there's a reason for insecurity and as long as the person doesn't know why they are insecure or don't have coping mechanisms, this carousel is never going to stop. that's what psychotherapy is for - to help the person unravel their personal knots, to help them understand themselves and overcome their weakness. (again, i have never been in therapy myself, just seeing a psych nurse, so this may just be the haziest layman's idea)

i'm sorry i don't know what to say to help you really... if you are ready to put effort into your relationship.. (and believe me - a lot of it is going to be needed) and in return, he needs to be willing to co-operate - if he is aware of the issue and is willing to change it, work on it. a relationship doesn't work if only the other one is doing the work.

best of luck to you both, these issues can be overcome and overcoming them will prove to be useful in the future, come what may.


twilight