((( Sannah & Greg )))

thanks for the replies.

greg, after reading your comment i really started to think. i feel like i am living a lie, not being true to myself like you said. but i feel it's not fair to feel that way after all he has done to me.

he is so very good to me... but sometimes he does things that make me anxious - he does not do this on purpose, and doesn't know it hurts me because i keep everything to myself. and i believe i have put him through enough hurt already (suicide attempt, psychosis, depression, crying, other difficult emotions no one should ever witness).. and even through all this crap he is still stable.

i don't even know when is mad or feeling down.

i could put more effort into this relationship... i am constantly waiting to pay him back for all the things he's done to me. it's like.. i'm afraid soon he will realise how little i have done and is going to leave me.

ahh.. i should rather discuss this with him. i want to make this relationship work so bad. he's all i've got.. and i'm still strong enough to keep holding on.

thanks,
twilight