Today at T, I gave my preferred tool for SI to my therapist. It was too dangerous to have it around, I felt very very attached to it, and it was hard to let it go, but I did it.

And now, I feel like I have to stay away from this board for a while, at least. Things were getting so dangerous for me, and I am trying really hard to pull myself out of the dark place I've been in. It would obviously be a simple thing for me to replace my "special" tool with something else, and I don't want to be tempted to do that.

SO. I just want to thank everyone on this board so, so, so much for all of the support I've received here, and to tell you how much I love each of you and wish for peace and healing for you.

Forgive me for not being able to be here right now to be supportive.

Please be safe.