here i am again...sitting at home alone. this time i actually went out to a party but it was overwelhming with all these skinny done-up fancy dressed chicks... i couldnt stand it feeling like i was ugly and chubby...i was so uncomfortbale, so i went home and ate soup. i hate that my boyfriend is flying solo at parties all the time because i dont have the confidence to be out there with him, who knows whats going on there right now...
i need to get a grip but i just can't.
this stupid eating disorder has taken me down by the knees and i've fallen flat on my face. i wanna go out where these girls are, stand up, look great, and hold my boyfriends hand, smile, and be able to feel good about myself and just feel good in general.
i feel so out of place and now that i left, i feel terrible but i might have felt worse if i stayed.
anyone have similar things happen to them? i just need help