baaaaaa!! baaaaaaaa!!

Black<font color=blue> sheep number 3, here! I only have half siblings that I didn't grow up with and I didn't have to live up to their expectations nor my mom comparing me to them, but I have 13 cousins and all of them have titles and degrees after their names. My mom always made sure I knew how disappointed she was in me because I didn't covet those degrees, titles and status. All I wanted was to be the best mother and wife I could be. It wasn't good enough for my mom. She also took perverse pleasure in embarassing me in front of all my cousins and two aunts. Now that we are all old, I got my nerve up to explain to one of the babies of another family how I had always felt like less than them. She said she never would have guessed. She thought I was just arrogant and stuck up because I was the only child. Ha! I was shy and insecure.

I've decided that what I am is good enough for me! It makes me happy! I was the best mom I could be even though I made mistakes. I was the best wife... and still am, that I know how to be... and now I've learned that I'm more than good enough to care for myself, too, and not just "them." I'm old but it's never too late.<font color=blue>

<font color=blue>This above all: To thine own self be true. --Shakespeare</font color=blue>