((((((((((((((((earthmama)))))))))))))))))))) I am so sorry that you are having such intense feelings you are searching for relief from cutting. I know how alluring this can be but unfortunately it is not a healthy way to cope with them. Please work with your t to find other ways to cope while you work through the feelings. I hope you were able to give your t what you use to cut.
Would you consider letting your husband talk to your t about the hospital. I understand how that may be a scary thought for you but maybe your t can explain how you are feeling.

BB