no way you are not a hopeless case, removing negative talk and thoughts take practise. just work at your ed one step at a time.
you do not deserve to starve, nor does anyone in this world, no matter how "mean" or "fat" or "greedy" they are... everyone deserves to eat.

when i dont feel like i deserve to eat i always eat anyways, but its WHAT i eat that counts. when you are hungry please eat. i always recoment celery and cucumbers because mostly its fully of water and has no calories. another good one is grapes, only 100 cal per cup i believe. i know sometimes 100 cals can feel like a lot but grapes are good for you, they arent fattening like other foods people could be eating. everyone needs fruits and veggies to survive and stay healthy.

another thing my T told me is that i have to "allow" myself to eat. because i am bulimic but i also don't binge, so i'd restrict myself at meals to just some small things or whatever i felt comfortable with. just don't think too much about it... just say, "today i am going to allow myself to eat this...and im going to be okay with it. my body needs this to live, a couple carrots will not hurt"

i dont know if im much of a help but i try.

my T is having surgery so i havent been able to talk to her for over a month and i realised just how much help she is doing for me. im pretty lucky, i hear a good T is hard to find

when i say "i just need help" i mean in the moment... when you feel alone and helpless and like you are your own worst enemy, you know?

hope you do better today and don't beat yourself up, i will try the same!