That's very true, Lenny. I'm one of those people who changed my name because it was also the name of one of my abusers. The fact is that not all things were equal either in your relationship with your children or mine with two of my authority figures who were also my abusers.

My faith also requires that parents not bring their children to temptation or ire. We're not to ask them to do illegal, unreasonable or dangerous things or to put them in such situations. In fact, I divorced my first, and I hesitate to call him "husband", because he didn't believe as I did. He believed that to "control a child is to put fear in him/her"! Abosuolutely NOT!! To begin with, I don't believe in "controlling" a child. You TEACH them. They do like to test the boundaries and that's when some sort of punishment, ie "suffering the consequences for their actions" is needed. Through all of this, if you respect their personhood, you teach them to give respect, also. Because you "took them to raise" and you're raising them properly, you better believe that a parent deserves respect!