I was raised in a household with a severe alcoholic for a mother, and a preacher for a father. Go figure that one out... but anyway. I was spanked for anything I did wrong.... and I mean anything. I have an older sibling and if something was done wrong and neither of us fessed up to doing it... we both got spanked.... with belts, clothes hangers, shoes, switches, paddles... just anything that was convenient at the time. That type of punishment, I do not believe in. Now, I have 3 children of my own, and I think very thouroughly about what their punishment will be if they misbehave or do something they shouldn't be doing. I don't believe it always has to be a spanking. I don't want their respect out of fear. I don't want them to fear me. Because I feared my parents very much, and when times came that I really needed to talk to them about something important in my life, I was too afraid to do so. My children know their boundaries, and they are not afraid of me or my husband. But, they also know that there will be consequences if they do something they know better than to do. So, I believe you have to give respect to get it..... even when it comes to your own children/grandchildren. Just being beat on or spanked for everything you do wrong is not teaching anything but pure fear. Now, I have come to terms with my upbringing, and I don't hate my parents. They raised me how they were raised.... and I'm not saying that's an excuse, because it's not. The cycle to that can be broken.... I broke it with my children. Like SeptemberMorn said, you have to "TEACH" them. They won't know anything otherwise. Just my 2 cents.