I can relate to some things you said Ziggy. Except it's more that I am not sure of love or relationships. I am also unsure of myself as I have always been, but mainly the change is in how sure I am of love and relationships. My entire view of them, due to my past relationships, and also the observations of others' relationships, conversations with people, etc. has changed, as all these things have all led me to a complete rehaul of how I saw things. And utter disillusionment.

The thing is, I have went through where I did not want to seriously date at all. And even now, I am torn between wanting closeness and fearing it. I guess I want it, but I know it will not work. Nothing ever does. Love is a biological joke as far as I am concerned.

On thing that really struck me out of your post, is what you said about other people just going right back at it, and dating or marrying again with seemingly little problem. You said this confused you- me, too. One of my good friends is like this. She does get really upset and depressed about failed relationships, but always goes right back at it with a heart full of romantic hope. She is currently married. My mother is also this way. Well, not exactly. My mother is not full of romantic hope. She is a cynic, but has married several times. Another man I know, also married MANY times. Sometimes says he is happier alone, but has at other times said he is "still looking for the one." One of my friends is more like me. Took years for her to date again after her first serious relationship ended. I am extremely cynical and jaded, and am not the type to just run back into serious dating. Also, I expect I will never marry. But regardless of whether that happens or not, if I do, I cannot see myself marrying several times if I kept getting divorced. I cannot see me having a failed marriage, remarrying, failing, remarrying, etc. I don't know why people put themselves through it sometimes. And how do they keep the faith?

Anyway, sorry. Don't mean to be a downer- just honest. But I wanted to let you know I somewhat related. I am sorry you have been hurt, as well. I hope you find the ability to open your heart to someone who doesn't hurt it like this again.