Quote:
Originally Posted by SeptemberMorn
That's very true, Lenny. I'm one of those people who changed my name because it was also the name of one of my abusers. The fact is that not all things were equal either in your relationship with your children or mine with two of my authority figures who were also my abusers.
My faith also requires that parents not bring their children to temptation or ire. We're not to ask them to do illegal, unreasonable or dangerous things or to put them in such situations. In fact, I divorced my first, and I hesitate to call him "husband", because he didn't believe as I did. He believed that to "control a child is to put fear in him/her"! Abosuolutely NOT!! To begin with, I don't believe in "controlling" a child. You TEACH them. They do like to test the boundaries and that's when some sort of punishment, ie "suffering the consequences for their actions" is needed. Through all of this, if you respect their personhood, you teach them to give respect, also. Because you "took them to raise" and you're raising them properly, you better believe that a parent deserves respect!
|
I respect your opinions SeptemberMorn and your right to own them. I can't even quarrel with them. I know many people who were spanked(and otherwise) who are balanced well intentioned human beings. There is an aspect of corporal punishment that moves it from consequence to abuse..I can't define that for you,,it seems that person being "spanked" is best equiped to know when that line was/is crossed. Some of them will maybe become members here.
I'm not sure about your first point of ineqality in parent/child relationships dynamics. Isn't the reality of ineqaulity part of the spur to maturity? I have witnessed some dynamics of this kind where the parents attempt global equality in their relationship with their children. It is absurd,,the results of such silly self centered behavior by the adults(?) in this facade is near complete dysfunction. Drinking and drugging together at 15 does not "teach" a future Mother of the Year...
Again, I am not intending any conflict but your language is what raised a flag in me. "Demand" is a very powerfull word. When used,,it usually depicts a point of intolerance. I am personally uncomfortable with intolerance. But that is my state of mind and it belongs to me. I have no right to insinuate that is it any "righter" than anyones elses.
For that I appologise.
Lenny