((((((((((((((((((jen)))))))))))))))))

i'm sorry it is such a struggle for you right now.

I don't have any great answers for you, but I just wanted to let you know I read your posts and you are not alone.

Keep posting, keep talking, and STAY SAFE.

Your life is important and YOU WOULD BE MISSED if you were gone.
You obviously have people who care for you and would be
deeply affected if you were to hurt yourself.

Sending peaceful thoughts and wishes to you,

ktgirl