I realize that abuse does not have to be physical and I cant live with myself being labeled an abuser....i hate that word.....I told her to stay away from abusers.....it does not make me feel good.
yes she was saying that me telling her that if she will not act like a wife (keep going out with guys i dont know), then I will cut the money I am giving her down to what she rates. She said it is controlling her, but then my question is alot of places say that the one that cheated should call when coming home from work....open up email passwords to their spouse....phone records/text messages....basically no privacy and everything open....is that abuse?
for instance....i am giving her 1500 a month....they are over paying me bc somebody did not put in her new address....i said i would give her that much so i am giving her that much.....she only rates half of what the marine corps gives me for housing.....which would be half of what the military says housing costs in that area.....i could only give her 500 dollars a month and be safe....but i give her 3 times as much bc she said she is wanting to work this out....but wouldn't stop seeing guys i dont know (and obviously not comfortable with)

Why would the therapist say that my actions listed above (not the drunken phone calls where I yell) are abusive or have abusive characteristics?