Griffe... all I can say is

not telling = no possibility of help.

telling = maybe they can help, maybe they can't.

If they can, wonderful, you might be able to get safe and stop whatever is going on. If they can't, you are no worse or better off than you are right now. If people are hurting you, they are going to continue to do that whether you tell or not. Not telling is not going to make them stop hurting you.

I don't know what is going on for you, but I do know that people can can and have gotten out of some of the worst situations imaginable. And it all starts with reaching out and talking honestly about what is going on.

You said therapy still seems pointless... which is must be if you are experiencing threats and are not safe and are not talking about it with your T. Therapy is a waste of time if you'e not going to talk about what's really going on in your life there. Your T can't help you if you refuse to share the truth about what is happening for you.

So, the way I see it... you can can not tell and continue to be threatened and scared and hurt (?) and have nothing change, or you can find the courage to start sharing about the hardest stuff, and work with your T towards making some real changes that will help you get out of whatever trap you are in.

Unfortunately no-one else can do it for you. But YOU can do it for you, and it WILL be worth it... if only because anything has to be better than whatever is going on now.

I know how very hard it is to talk about current abuse. I know the pain and the fear and the intense shame of it. I've been there myself for far too long. But all you have to start with is one simple little word... "help".

I hope you can find the courage to speak or write that one little word to your T, Griffe. Because you have nothing at all to lose. It sounds like... things just can't get much worse than they all ready are. And that one little word opens up an entire lifetime of possibilities... I bet you can't even imagine a world without pain and shame and rage and intense self-hate. I bet you certainly can't imagine it for yourself.

The escape from the horror of a lifetime of abuse all has to start somewhere, Griffe. You've taken the first step to get a T. I know from reading here how hard that was for you. What is the next step going to be? Because that's all you have to do... take it one tiny step at a time.

You can do it, Griffe. Baby steps.
You can do it.