(((((((((((((Luce))))))))))) I used to feel similar about being psychotic rather than dissociative. I used to think that I was so crazy and there was no hope. But since then I've realized that it can get better. Dissociative disorders are one of the disorders that has so much hope for a full recovery. Other disorders can be maintained but what we have can be healed. It's hard for sure, but it's possible. I think you do deserve support here, just like the rest of us. I have come to realize that my dissociative disorder was actually a life order instead of a death order. Hang in there Luce.