Well, she said she stopped seeing guy friends a few weeks ago, before I got here in the sandbox. I called her nephew to see whatsup with him and he told me things that had me in a flashbacks of when I was hot on her trail about finding out about the affair.
I asked him if he had talked to her lately and he said not within a month or so bc she pissed him off. (I have been friends with her nephew Matt since we were 14, and he was the one who introduced us). Since he learned of her actions that hurt me, he told me to get rid of her but I gave love a chance.
Well tonight he was telling me she was dating her 30 year old neighbor who cannot even pay child support. And she also didn't know which one she wanted to be with. And she has always told me she loved me and apparantly she told him she sometimes doesn't know if she cares about me. It shocked me so much I literally fell on my butt and puked. I had started to trust her bit by bit and the agreement was that she not hang out with guys I dont know. She also had bought a prepaid cell phone and she has been telling me she doesn't have a cell phone. He also didn't want me to drop his name if I confronted her.
So I called around to see who would give me her number and nobody would. I then got an email from her saying she was at a friends house and I had the friends number so I called and told her (without yelling at all during the whole hour I was on the phone with her) I am going to see a lawyer tomorrow to start the paperwork bc the trust is broken. She then brought up the fact of me yelling at her when I was in Japan. I told her and I know this doesn't excuse it, but I told her it was bc I was drinking and my emotions were all messed up.
She claims she just hung out with him a once or twice and thats it. He hasn't been in the house. I then asked her why she didn't want her husband who is in Iraq to not have her cell phone number. And why she lied about that. She said she didn't know.
When she asked me why I was divorcing her, I asked her "What have you done to betray my trust?" Her answer "What do you know?" I just cringed bc those were the same words I said to her and she spat back at me when I got very close to finding out she had cheated on me. She admitted she went to the river with him and that I set her up for failure bc I left her in the US and blah blah blah.
She also said she had come up with a plan for us to stay together. It involved her staying in the US to continue her studies and her to get her own money and financially stable. I told her there is no way trust can come back into the relationship with us being so far away from each other. Plus we would grow apart more so than we already have. She then said she would come out to Japan but it just seems like it is a lost cause.
She said she isn't dating the guy, but if she lied about not hanging out with guys, then how do I know? I was really starting to trust her more, not alot but more BC she wasn't hanging out with guys. I love this woman to death, I would walk on hot coals for her. There are very few things I wouldn't do for this woman. I told her SHE was my prioority ever since I got here. Not me. I can take care of myself. The marriage and putting her mind at ease about me yelling at her and her financial trouble were my concearns, not getting shot at. I told her since she lied to me about going out with guys, it seems I am not a priority to her. She claims that statement is false. I told her actions speak louder than words. It breaks my heart bc she told me the plan and it was the first thing I heard from her about our future together. Not hearing anything about what she thinks or what she wants had me worried and was chipping away at my hope that the marriage would survive.

I was really looking forward to coming home to my wife after a deployment too. To go home with my wife.....not back to my parents place (my parents and I dont have a good relationship bc I was working on the marriage). Now, I just feel my get up and go has got up and left. She was my world, the thought of coming home to her is what kept me sane and drove me to push through another day. I was starting to deal with the fact that she cheated on me before I left for Iraq and I would have to deal with that over here in a combat zone dodging rounds. Now I dont think I can deal with anymore lies.