Firstly, I just wanted to acknowledge that it is such a huge thing... seeking help before taking that step of inflicting physical pain on yourself because of the pain you have been through in your life. It can be so easy to either feel the need to punish yourself (maybe coz of perceived guilt about the situations you have been in that have caused you pain) or to turn inner pain into a physical tangible feeling.
Secondly, I agree with BB and sannah that by seeing a t you can work together in a safe supported environment to release the inner pain that you are feeling and to find positive ways forward from here including coping strategies and alternatives to hurting yourself/ . Good luck.