(((((((((((((((((cantstopcrying))))))))))))))))))))

Please don't be so hard on yourself. You don't 'just suck'. You DO have will power...you are just not using it right now....but that doesn't mean you can't start over.

A lot of people have trouble with weight gain on medicine - it doesn't mean you are a bad person. And a mid-range healthy weight for someone your height is about 150, so you don't really have that much to lose.

But yes, I realize it is hard and it is scary to think of becoming anorexic again.

Years ago when I was trying to lose my 'baby weight', I did it slowly and in a healthy way. I figured out how many calories I should be eating and kept track of every morsel I put in my mouth (there are websites that can help you do that.) Were there times when I messed up??? - YES! But if you keep trying even after eating the candy or cake or cookies, you will ultimately succeed.

I have lots of experience with this - like I said, I used to be healthy at a healthy weight and I got there in a healthy way. So if you want more ideas, feel free to PM me.

But please don't be so hard on yourself.
You are a good, supportive, caring person.
You are not alone.
I know what it's like to want to cry after messing up for the millionth time. It's OK to cry. And it's OK to vent.
Just Please be gentle with yourself. OK?

Sending hugs and wiping your tears with a Puffs Plus tissue,

ktgirl