i put my head down on my desk then i got the urge to just bang it really hard, before i was able to pick my head up i got a phone call from a friend wondering why i haven't responded to her liurgent email about her relationship crisis of the day i said hello yea i got it and sorry for not responding and that i gotta go and -why do i do this why did i not tell her the real reasons im not okay and that i want to cut, not like she would understand- no one knows that i cut and now im crying and i hate myself for what i am about to do