Things is better right now.
The guys are feeling better, which is a good thing.

I saw the new T yesterday, and I really like her a lot! I'm going to be seeing her, too - she's cheaper than the clinic and she's nice and she's knowledgeable about both DID and PD's. She's also cool with me going back to my regular T when the insurance kicks back in.
Jon sees her tomorrow. I hope he likes her...

I know you guys can't answer all my questions, so maybe i just want to talk about some stuff...
We've picked up on a disturbing trend. He has a tendency to mis-remember conversations we've had and mis-read some of my feelings. Like - he remembers me being angry about something and he remembers me saying things that I didn't say. Kinda like he's oversensitized to rejection, so he sees it everywhere, even if it's not. I get that - I've got some of it myself - but it's hard to hear, and it hurts when he accuses me of being mad at him all the time. Geez, the most I usually feel is mild annoyance, and even then I've learned over the years to keep my mouth shut and let it pass.

I'm just trying so hard to be a good partner...I don't want to tiptoe around him, but I want to avoid triggering him unnecessarily. Sometimes it's just hard to keep every single scrap of my BPD under control. Sometimes it's just hard to keep emotions in general under control.

How would you guys like your partner to approach you about thing you do that hurt them? I don't want to make it all about me, but do I have any rights to how I feel? Am I allowed to address false accusations? When I try to explain that I wasn't angry, he just tells me that I'm lying to him and I'm not being honest...How can I be honest with him when we're working from two separate realities?

Hugs and love to all of you wonderful strong, good people!!