(((((((((((((LOST)))))))))))))))

I know how scared, confused and upset you may be. I have dissociated in front of T, I need that control too much.
Something that REALLY helped me communicate with my alters was to write with the non-dominant hand. For example, I am right handed so I asked a question by writing it out with my right hand and then allowed the answer to come out through my left hand. It cleared up a lot of things that were going on that I didn't know about.

I hope this helps some.