((((((((((((((((((thelostone))))))))))))))) I'm sorry you are struggling right now. Chances are if you are dissociating in front of T right now, you've always done so. My T was the first to know out of the two of us that I was dissociating. I didn't have enough awareness to even know I was. It's great that you are getting this awareness.

I have recently started noticing that when the noise gets louder in my head, I usually end up somewhere else doing something else. I don't always know what triggered me to make that happen, but stress definitely makes me more vulnerable to being triggered.

My advice would be to talk to T. If she is experienced in trauma, she probably is noticing things anyway and might be waiting for you to get some awareness. Hang in there lostone.