Hi- I'm kind of in the same boat as you, I'm 16- the main difference being that my depressions became prominant at thirteen, and a few weeks after I turned fourteen, I was in the position you are- wondering about possibly being BP. I read articles on it, and I felt like I was reading about myself- like someone finally put into words everything I was going through. It was the most eerie feelings the first time I read those BP informational websites. Since then I've gone through stages where I was wondering about that possiblity, then accepting it as true, then realizing how serious it really is, and absolutly denying it and putting it all up to hormones, and then finally breaking down and realzing that no matter how much I want to deny theres a problem- there is a huge problem. Thyroid issues run in the family though, as does diabetes, so I had all that checked out as a routine thing a few months ago, and I came back to be physically healthy, so I know it has to be BP. I'm just too scared, or stupid, or something to say anything. Well, heres a breakdown of the BP categoriesRemember: Bipolar is not a single disorder, its a category of mood disordersBP I: THe most severe, you go from suicidal debilitating lows, to crazy manic highs (called mania) where you are likely to think you are superhuman, go on crazy shopping sprees, speed 100mph PAST the speed limit, go on sex binges, drinking and drug binges, etc. and the strangest part- you can go days without sleeping, and have endless amounts of energy. BP II: A milder, but still very severe form. You get the suicidal lows, but you don't get the super highs, you get a mild version called hypomania, (or being hypomanic) where you act like your high on cocaine or ecstasy- overly silly, you don't concentrate, you can't stop laughing, you are in this amazing mood, super flirty (but not hyper sexual as with mania) stuff like that. Cyclothymia: the mildest form, you reach hypomania (not mania) and you don't go all the way down into suicidal depression. You get really sad, but not as depressed as with the other forms. usually your mania or hypomanias end in a crash. (Depression after the high) About your experience with your therapist, you are allowed to pick and chose your therapist. Maybe tell your parents that you agree to talk to someone, if and only if you get to pick one you are comfortable with. Then when you find someone you would like to talk to, go over their confidentiality rules. Licensed profesionals have to abide by a confidentiality law, where they can't talk about anything you tell them unless: A) You are going to hurt yourself or someone else - aka- suicide/assault/murder. B) You Are going to commit a felony - Aka- robbing a bank, murder, etc Because you are a minor, it can get messy, so you can talk to your therapist about your concerns with that, and ask them if they would be willing to outline a contract between them, you and your parents so everything is clear as to what your parents do and do not know about. That way, you can feel secure and therapy will actually work. Like, YOu can say specifically that the therapist cannot release any information to your parents except information regarding your safety- If you are suicidal, or if you are going to run away they should know about it. You have struggles with SI, (me too) so it should be clear wheather or not your therapist considers SI to fall under the confidentiality exceptance of harming yourself. In my school, the confidentiality rules are posted on the wall, and it says that there are many "Gray" areas that may or may not fall into the confidentiality exception, and counselors should use their own judgment on those matters. So, I may tell my guidence counselor that I SI, and he may not find that my ocasional cutting fits under harming myself because my life isn't in danger, so he may give me some first aid info and make me promise to get medical attention if I need it. However another guidence counselor may consider SI to be extremely dangerous, and bring in the school social workers to talk to me, call my parents, etc, while another counselor (We have like 5) might decide to have the nurse look at my SI stuff and have her decide if it warrents medical attention, and if it does, then they will bring in social workers/parents/etc and if it doesn't, then they will leave it as a confidential manner between my counselor and the nurse. All of those grey areas could be outlined in a signed agreement (contract sounds too serious) so your parents don't get upset if your therapist doesn't tell them something like you've started cutting after you promised you'd stop, and you don't have to worry about your parents finding out certain things. I would add something in there that you should be informed that your therapist is informing your parents about something before they actually tell your parents, and given the option to be there when they are told, or tell them yourself. That way, you aren't going to come home from school one day to see that your parents know about such and such thing. Like, your therapist should tell you "Okay, I think your parents need to know about BlahBlah. I'm going to tell them. Would you like to tell them yourself, or be there when I tell them?" Okay this post is long. haha I hope everything goes okay. As far as asking for help- Do it! I'm a huge hypocrite- I'm not doing it, but I should be. . . I really should be, so you should too