Oh Grand Member purplebutterfly! (I just saw that you are now a grand member!) You cut. That's your coping mechanism. You are missing the important thing: you want to stop. Wanting to stop is not failing. Little babes want to walk, too--but they can't at first. They fall. A lot. That word was fall, not fail. After falling, getting bumped and bruised and hurt and crying, eventually they will take that first step. But even after that first step, they don't take off walking everywhere all the time. They still crawl. That doesn't mean they failed at walking, it means they need a rest or they can get where they want to go quicker by crawling. But eventually, they do walk. And the funny thing is, as parents, we usually end up telling them to "come back here" or to sit down once in a while. We try to stop what they have struggled to learn. It's exactly like that as adults too--only not with walking. With LIFE. You try. You try not to cut. You try not to cry. You fall--not fail. You get back up. Just as a babe learning to walk, you have to hold on to someone or something. You try again. You may go weeks without falling, you may go hours. But eventually, you will not fall. Doesn't mean you still won't run into a door once in a while, but you won't fall. Eventually. It takes time to learn. Let us support you. Like the babe learning to walk, you have to believe in yourself. You have to believe that no matter how much you fall, it's worth it to get back up. Because it is.