Why! I'm sitting here at work sobbing!! I was doing sooooooo well! I'm stupid. I went and did it. I sent a txt though I said I wouldn't. I just hate not knowing. The nagging voice says "You're not good enough", the smart voice says "you have no idea at all what's going on or what the reason is so stop it." The smart voice isn't winning. It wins when it comes to everyone else. I try so hard to "walk the walk", to follow the advice I give. And I've done really well but I was up till 1 working, back here at 8:30 this morning, still here at 9 at night, going home to work some more, the van died, the money died, the critters and I thought I could handle it but I fell. Some toss a pillow under me please so it doesn't hurt as much?