Dear ncguynva,

You are using economic leverage, in an attempt to control your wife, plain and simple, that is abuse. I don't condone her conduct, and I have great empathy for your marital difficulties. My first marriage ended in divorce, under not so different circumstances. However, I feel compelled to give you a straight answer.

Please, don't think ill of yourself. All of us, have emotionally abused someone, at sometime. What is important, is to recognize it, come to terms with it, and cease doing it. Obviously, by virtue of you posting here, and discussing the situation with a therapist, abuse, is clearly not your intent.

I am not suggesting, you tolerate your wife's behavior. Advising her, you will pursue a divorce, if she will not honor the marriage, is not abuse. Pursuing a divorce, also is not abuse, provided, one conducts themselves, in a legal and honorable fashion.

I wish you the best,

Larry