Bound, it took a lot of courage for you to post this and I salute you for doing it.
Far too many people expect that disabled people are always strong and brave--well, you know the drill.
It was difficult for me to stop defining myself by my disabilities, too. I always felt that I had some kind of responsibility to keep on the mask of...sorry but I'm having problems putting my feelings into words!

let me try again...
We battle our own feelings of worthiness, the sometimes crappy attitude of others, overcoming challenges in our daily lives. But one that has been hardest for me is the battle I put myself into...the one where I was going to prove that I could do everything/anything I wanted, and do it better. In some ways, it was denying that I had limitations. Add in some anger that I did have them and I was not a happy person...or pleasant to be around. I was pushing people away from me.

It took a wee bit of therapy and short term meds to help me get a better grip on my life. There are days when I still feel the old anger and sadness, and this is all right. No one, absolutely no one, is singing and laughing everyday of their lives.
Sometimes it can be difficult to get off that roller coaster ride of low self esteem, little hope, and other harsh feelings. Taking the first steps was probably one of the hardest things I've done...it was that, though, or never knowing joy.

I sincerely hope you find your way to feeling better about yourself.
Cap