i dont know what to suggest really.
i have been diagnosed with severe anger problems and clinical depression, my doctor doesnt know much about borderline personality so im going to a psyciatrist to find out.
but these past few weeks i have had it pretty rough, in two weeks, i had my mobile phone stolen, i get attacked by a group of about 15 boys, then my moped was stolen. its making me very angry, which is turning my friends against me.
one night i was in the house all on my own, and i walked up the stairs and removed my make up getting ready for bed and i just started hearing the most traumatising noises. it was like blood curdilling screaming, i couldnt get it out of my head, i was clutching my ears to stop it and it wouldnt go away, so i started screaming over it to get it to go away and i couldnt. not for about half hour or so.
last night, me and my best friend had a major arguement because i was moaning about my awful day of mood swings. the voices came this time, they were so disturbing and the things i was hearing was s oawful i wanted to die so i didnt have to hear it again, i started to search my room for something that i could kill myself with, i found a blade and as soon as i brought it to my skin, even before i cut, it stopped.
i put the blade away and started crying, i couldnt sleep at all. because of that i had an awful and tearful day at work today.
i dont even know why i'd pick up a blade because im not a self harmer, and haven't been for about 3 years.