Quote:
Originally Posted by inkblot
I had been restricting for 1-2 weeks and just realized it Wednesday night. I had known that I wasn't eating as much, but it hadn't "clicked" until then. I know what caused it--I had tried on a pair of jeans. Initially I literally *BARELY* was able to **SQUEEZE** into them because all the swelling in my body had gone down some. But then when I tried one week later, it was totally hopeless--I might as well have been trying to put on a pair of kid size clothing but there was just no way it was going to happen. I had a serious thought but downplayed it in my mind, knowing that there was a very good chance of me developing bad habits again. Sure enough, I started those habits of skipping meals. It took a friend who happened to give me food twice this week for me to notice what I was doing. I don't see him very often so he hadn't known. Far as he was concerned, I was "cured" though I'd told him that I still have issues with it from time to time. I sent him a vague, cryptic text message from my phone that he didn't understand. Yesterday I gave him hints during chat and wrote him an email saying things that just really felt wrong to tell someone. He is actually a doctor, too--a pediatrician. Part of me thinks it feels even more wrong because he is a doctor, even if he's not mine. I think he believes me now that I still have issues with it, LOL. Just because my weight has been up doesn't mean it's "cured". It never really goes away.
|
Hi!
I don't have any words of advice, but I do know what you're going thru...sort of... I haven't been officially "diagnosed" with an ED, mostly out of embarrassment. I have been dealing with eating/purging (either by restriction or exercise) on and off for ten years now (since i was 15 or 16). I honestly think it's something ppl with EDs have to deal with allll the time. Some days/months/years will be better than others. I went almost two years without giving a second thought and then one day something clicked back on (or off...however you want to put it) and before I knew I was back on that merry-go-round... and then I was fine again and now I am back on it...probably b/c I haven't officially gotten help for this yet( I just started therapy and we havent gotten to this issue yet, tho she does know about it.)....All I can say is stay strong. It would be hypocritical of me to say anything outside of that




(sorry didnt mean to pour my life issue into your thread)