Really really scared and I'm going to hate myself for posting this, but I hate calling my T and I'm too scared to privately reach someone to get this off of my chest

Doctors whisper about amputation for an injury I got. In and out of hospital past few days. Been very switchy past few days- sorry for anything I've posted. The pain is unbelievable. Kate and friends and kids were all okay from the car accident and it's just one thing after another in my life.

"Crappy" doesn't begin to describe how I feel right now. I feel shocked, scared, alone. I've tried distracting. I've tried watching movies, playing games, trapped to lying in bed because I'm too scared to really walk.

I'm too cowardly to ask to talk to a friend so if anyone could talk to me, I need it. I really really need it