((((((((((((((multipixie9))))))))))))))) I'm so sorry. It's so hard to not be believed with things. I feel the same way, not just with DID (I don't talk about that with anyone but T generally) but with everything in my life. Like you, I try so hard to be truthful about things, but at the same time, I am unable to tell a lot of things due to having been programmed to keep secrets.

I think for me, one reason it's always been so important for me to be believed is because before I learned what was going on (and accepted that to a degree), I always felt like someone was tricking me. When people would say I did this or that or would say I said this or that, I would deny it because I had no memory of it. And they would not believe me. I think they thought I was lying because they had seen or heard with their own eyes things I had said or done but there I was saying no way, I did not do or say that. I guess for them it was kind of like a small child with chocolate cake on his face denying that he licked the frosting.

Anyway, I don't know that that is the only reason I fear people not believing me, but it's definitely one reason. DID is way out there sometimes in my head and sometimes I just can't believe it and that causes me to think that if I can't even accept it sometimes, how can I expect others to.

It's just so hard. The reasons a person might have any type of dissociation disorder is hard. If one has to believe that dissociation exists to any degree, then one might have to accept that the person went through some stuff that was at least uncomfortable and for DIDers, extreme. Could it be that husband cannot deal with the fact that horrid things might have happened to you? It might just be more than his brain can deal with and in order to be okay, he has to deny it. I'm not saying that's helpful or supportive, but it might be that he is just not capable of more right now.

I'm really sorry that you are struggling though. I'm glad you are here and I hope we can be of some support to you.