((((((((((((((((miserycriz)))))))))))))) Welcome to PsychCentral.

I'm sorry you are so exhausted. I'm glad you have a T. Does your T know how to deal with DID or at least trauma? DID is all about survival. I am learning how to better take care of self but the one thing I have learned is that at all costs, I will survive. I've already survived impossible stuff. Eventually I hope to be able to deal with the after effects of it.

My T said a very helpful thing to me once (well, many times lol). She said you've always been like this. Just because you know doesn't change anything other than now we can work on things. When I had no awareness at all, it was impossible for us to even work on things. T often has me "entertain" ideas even if I can't accept them, such as the possibility that I'm not evil or things like that. It has given me an out to have to accept or believe things but a way to think about them safely.

I hope things will calm down for you soon. Hang in there. Hope to hear from you again.