after having really bad dreams last night, I am so triggered today.
I've tried distracting myself and keeping busy but I can't seem to get these thoughts out of my head.
I want to SI so bad and just cut and cut and cut to make it all go away.
I don't know what to do - it's like I am O/C and I can't stop thinking about it and how much better it will make me feel and how I deserve it but I know I really don't deserve but I don't deserve what he did to me either and I wish he had just killed me because he murdered my soul anyway and now I can't stop thinking about it
my heart feels like it's going to burst open and I can't handle this anymore
I've got to do something....I feel like I'm losing it.

does anyone have any ideas - I don't know how to get out of this mindset right now. I'm stuck and I have no way out.