Thank you so much capp ... and I hear what you're saying... I just give people too many chances I guess... I forgive too much.
But not from now on... I loved John and I miss what we had (both as a boyfriend and a best friend) but I won't let him get to me anymore as far as I can help it, as much as it kills me, now I am saying "That's it!" I don't want anythimng more to do with him (oh it kills me t say that... the hardest thing I've ever had t do letting John go COMPLETELY) but it's hurting too much so I've gotta do it... same goes for K... she's not a friend if she can keep hurting me over and over....

so... now im on my own (IRL) yay!

ouch