Griffe, I'm so very sorry that life feels like such a rotten thing right now. I don't know your situation, and I'm sorry if I'm butting in...please accept my apolagy.

It's not "just a finger." It's a part of you, period.
Jme, when I'm going through what feels like a never-ending series of crappy things, it doesn't take much to have me teetering on the edge.
This is a normal reaction for a human being...our hearts can only take so much before we feel overwhelmed.
Please accept any and all offers of support and caring.

Perhaps instead of feeling you are dragging everyone down, you can feel love and understanding lifting you up...it's hard but not impossible...I'm sure you have done much to lift up others when they have been down.

Nightbird is correct about the anesthesiologist encouraging you while you are asleep. Even if a nerve block is used, you will still be sedated and your mind relaxed...making it willing to hear the positive reinforcements said by the anesthesiologist. Recovery room personal can also be a part of it as well as the nursing staff on the floor.

"If you are walking through hell, keep walking. Crawling is all right, too."
I admire the strength you are showing through all of this...

Cap