Hi Pat,

Yes ever since your reply and mortimers...I've been thinking. Well first I'm thinking I should start taking more vitamins and maybe try like yah at least 1protein shake or bar or something.

I'm still overweight. I had gained a lot of weight because of meds, but have since dropped an enormous amount of that weight.

I don't feel I have an eating disorder is what I think. I did use to purge, but to hurt myself and for control. That started to control me though and get out of control and caused health problems so I have not done that in several years and would never do that again.

I stop eating because of si and control, but as I do do that I will admit that my thinking becomes a little "fuzzy" about it. I get confused. I will not go completely without eating.

I will eat if I have to go out and not worry. I will eat let's say one meal a day, but now after time I will now start to worry "oh did I eat too much?" whereas before I didn't think twice because really it was more that I was in control...that's more what mattered.

I hope that made sense.

I will try to think about adding the protein or vitamin stuff.

I am getting confused because I am angry and not too long ago I was not doing well. I was in therapy back then and my therapist got angry with me and said I was doing it as a self assisted suicide and when I thought about it then I agreed.

So I am just confused.

I'm sorry I hope i didn't ramble or confuse you?

I am having a hard time.